Qui Custodes

Listen to Yourself

Human beings and our ancestors have been around for millions of years.  And, as a result, our instincts for danger have evolved, become more sensitive, and better at detecting possible threats.  Listen to those instincts!  More than any other thing you can do to keep yourself safe, you can listen to your instincts.  If your instincts tell you that there is something "wrong" with a person, don't talk yourself out of it, don't say that you should give the person a chance, just listen to yourself.  If your instincts tell you that you are being followed, act as if you *are* being followed and seek shelter.  The risk-reward (or cost/benefit) is to act on your instincts!

O, before I forget, tonight is Christmas Eve.  I wish all you readers a Happy and Safe Holliday.

Don't Walk Between Groups

Many years ago I learned this one the hard way.  As you walk down the street, get into an elevator, get on the subway or a bus, don't walk between a group.  This means you actually have to keep your eyes open and your brain switched on.  Are those 3 or 4 people standing or walking towards you a group?  Or, are they just people who don't know each other?  How do they interact with each other?  Are they talking together?  What's their body language?  If you aren't sure, assume they are a group.

Why not walk between a group?  Because you don't know what their dynamic is.  They could be predators and you just walked in where you can be attacked from all sides.  They could be arguing and you could get caught in the middle.  God knows, innocent bystanders get shot all the time when arguments flare up--just read the Washington Post.

So if you see a group, don't walk through it--walk around, even if it means walking into the street.

Magazines

Ever roll up a magazine and carry it in your hand?  Ever do that with a newspaper?  Ever see someone doing that?  Well, if you do, you might want to pay a little more attention to that person than you would otherwise.  Why?  Because a rolled up magazine is, essentially, a wooden club about 12-14 inches long.  Just the right size to whack you with.  Or, for self-defense, just the right size to whack an attacker.   But there is another use for a rolled up magazine:  To conceal w knife or other edged weapon.  You see, if you place the knife in the magazine and roll the magazine up you can carry a concealed weapon.  And if you need it, you just let the magazine unroll in your hand and slide the knife out.  Then you have 2 weapons:  a knife and a small club. 

So if you are being stalked and are worried you can always carry a magazine in your hand.  And if you see someone coming towards you with a rolled magazine in their hand, be aware that it might be more than just a magazine.

Beware of "stuff"

I was counseling someone today who holds a prominent public position and is being stalked.  We don't know how bad it is yet, but one thing we talked about is worth mentioning right now.  If you are concerned, do *not* touch or open or handle any unexpected packages.

My father-in-law used to send presents to us at unexpected times (like weeks before or after a birthday) and without letting us know the present was coming.  It would drive me crazy since sometimes I was on "alert" status and an unexpected package was not cause for rejoicing until we were sure who it was.  I asked him repeatedly to let us know when he was sending something but he never did.  Finally, I went to the USPS and got a list of ZIP codes for the area around where my FIL lives.  Then, if I recognized the ZIP code, it was a safe bet that the package was from him. 

Now I don't expect that everyone who is reading this to have an active stalker, nor do I expect that everyone reading this has my ability to irritate people.  Butif you are being stalked, or if you have managed to finally agitate someone to the extreme, and if you arrive at or leave your home/work and see a package or bag or briefcase or *something* just sitting there, and you are not expecting it, beware.  Do NOT touch or handle it.  Look at it carefully and, if you are not sure, ask for help. 

The optimal solution--do not accept packages you do not expect.  If people are sending you stuff they can have the courtesy to let you know. 

Look around

As a followup to my earlier post about "check your "6"", when you are approaching your car (especially these days with an armload of presents) be aware of the other cars around you.  Who is in them?  What are they doing?  Are they paying attention to you?  Listen to your instincts.  A lot of people get mugged, assaulted, and carjacked because they were not paying attention.  Don't be one of them.  If you are uncomfortable, don't stop at your car, go back to the store.

Take presents out of your car

I was out grocery shopping with my daughters yesterday and we were using their car.  So when we went to load the groceries into the trunk, there wasn't enough room.  Why?  Because they had stashed their presents for other people (like me and their Mom) in the trunk so we wouldn't see it.  This isn't a good idea.  Take the stuff out of the car.

Similarly, don't leave stuff in the back seat either.  It's just a magnet for thieves.

Check your "6"

If you work in public space or are walking down the street your most vulnerable side is your back.   If you were in the center of a clock, straight ahead would be "12", your right side would be "3", your left side would be "9" and behind you would be "6".   "6" is the only direction you cannot see.  Your other senses work best from "8" to "4".  The "5", "6"  and "7" directions are your most vulnerable.  So, knowing that, you should pay the most attention to threats coming at your from those directions. 

How?  Well, dont' sit with your back to the door.  Sit facing the door or with face the door at an angle, or with 1 side towards the door.  When you are walking down the street, be aware of the "5", "6" and "7" directions.  When you walk past a dark alley, listen for things approaching you.  When you are in a parking lot, listen for footsteps.   

A long-time friend of mine was badly injured when he forgot these things several years ago.  He was walking down the street and walked past some kids about 13 years old playing baseball.  Suddenly he was hit from behind by a bat and they took his wallet, his watch and everything.  He was in the hospital for a long time and when he got out he told me that he had heard the footsteps running up behind him but didn't worry because "they were just kids".  Pfui!  Be aware, be alert, and be prepared.  If you are not sure what you are hearing--check.  If my friend had checked and looked, he might have been able to get a hand up and protect his head.  He still would have been mugged, but he wouldn't have been hurt so bad.

I hate IPods

I hate IPods!  They are small, convenient, give good sound, hold lots of music, and are very affordable.  So why do I hate them?  Because when you put both ear pieces in your ears they block out the entire world.  Completely!  So you never know what is going on around you.  You could walk into a turning car, blunder into a dog fight, or almost anything. 

So if you must use them, leave 1 ear uncovered so you can hear what is going on around you, what is coming up behind you, what you need to know to avoid dangers.

Front Door Peep holes

I saw an old friend of mine last week.  I knew him in college, over 35 years ago.  He's a lawyer too.  He does a lot of wills, trusts and estates work, helping families protect and preserve assets over generations.  A kind, gentle man who is not the least quarrelsome.  (I'm not going to use his name for reasons that will become obvious.)   Earlier this year, just when all the judges and lawyers were being attacked, he was in the news. One night, late, a man my friend knew, came to the door of his house.  My friend knew this man and also knew this man was upset because my friend was challenging this man's right to manage the funds of an old lady.  The man was dressed in black and had friends with him.  When my friend opened the door they pushed their way into the house, terrorized his wife and kidnapped my friend.

This story has a happy ending--my friend is alive and unhurt.  His family is fine and the man and his friends were prosecuted and convicted and are in jail.  But ...  things might not have ended so well. 

So, make sure your doors have a peep hole you can see through. If it doesn't, have one installed or do it yourself.  All it takes a a 3/4" drill bit (and, of course, a drill) and a peephole from Home Depot or another hardware store.  And be sure you install it at eye level.  Many installed peepholes are set correctly for people who are 6' tall.  But if you are shorter (like a small woman) you cannot see out of it.  If that is the case, install another one.

Walking (con't) and Shoes

I am always amazed when I see people walking on the street wearing flip-flops, high heels, sandals and backless shoes of all kinds.  It's absurd.  When wearing these shoes you cannot walk normally with good balance--you have to worry about your shoes falling off.  You cannot run away without losing your shoes.  You always have to worry about getting your toes stepped on.  You cannot fight.  You are pinned down in the name of fashion and vulnerable.  Pfui!

Better is to wear comfortable shoes that fit properly on the street and then change when you get to your destination.  That's what briefcases, purses, and shopping bags are for.