Qui Custodes

Gun safety

This seems to me to be redundant but apparently it is not.  If you have children and own a firearm you have certain obligations:  you must protect the kids from the weapon and the weapon from the kids.  By this I mean:  if you have a child you have a moral obligation to make sure the kid knows not to touch the weapon.  More, the kid must be protected from the temptation to touch the weapon.  So get a gun safe or safety lock or *something*.  Here in DC we just had an 8 year old take his dad's firearm to day care & he accidently shot a 7 year old girl while showing off.  This is so frustrating to me and so stupid!  Don't do these things. [I am not going on a rant about the Dad, his alleged criminal record etc. because so many others are doing that already.  I'm just trying to focus on basic safety issues.]

Similarly, whether you own firearms or not, these days you simply must teach your children basic gun safety:  Don't Touch!  If you see someone with a gun, get away!  Learn how to pick up a gun safely if you must.  So far as I'm concerned *everyone* (adults too) should learn how to handle a weapon safely, even if they don't own any and don't plan to own any.  Because you never know when you might need the knowledge. 

Some people can quarrel with the National Rifle Association over many things. But one thing I think they do well is the Eddie Eagle gun safety program. It teaches kids how to handle firearms safely and responsibly.  I like it a lot.  Other programs will do the same thing so, if you don't like Eddie Eagle find one you do like.  But don't let your kids grow un ignorant of basic safety.

Firearms 2

Using a firearm and actually hitting a stationary target is not easy.  People practice for years to do that.  Doing it with a handgun at the end of your arm is harder.  Doing it with a full adrenalin rush, in the dark, is harder still.  Now try hitting a living human being who is moving around and maybe threatening you.  It's *really* not that easy.  The TV shows and movies that show it as easy are flat wrong.  To actually use firearm for self-defense is not easy and requires lots and lots of practice.  If you are willing to put in the practice, if you have the time and temperment (see previous post), then OK.  Otherwise, don't do it--you will only create more problems for yourself.

firearms

Do not get a firearm unless you are willing to use it. Many people go out and get weapons with the thought that they will just waive them like magic wands to make bad people go away. It doesn't work that way. Most people flinch at the idea of actually killing someone.  It is not unusual for soldiers in combat to be unable to fire at a living breathing human being.  That's why a lot of the training soldiers go through is to make obedience a reflex.  That's also why a lot of effort goes in to dehumanizing the "enemy"--it makes it easier to pull the trigger. 

So:  only pick up a weapon if you are truly willing to use it.  This takes a lot of self-knowledge but, if you are sure, then OK.

Breaking up a fight

How many times have you seen (in a movie or in real life) someone try to break up a fist fight?  Now, I don't mean to jump in and help a friend, I genuinely mean to break it up.  And when you've seen this, don't the guys (I don't mean to be sexist but it is usually a guy who is fighting)  grab their *friend* to stop him fighting?  And where are they when they grab him?  Why, they are behind him aren't they?  Of course they are!  So they are grabbing him from behind!  Good move! [major sarcasm alert here]  And how do they grab him?  By the arm?  Or maybe they grab him around the body?  Another good move!  [even bigger major sarcasm alert here]

What did you just do?  Why you helped the person your friend is fighting by preventing your friend from protecting himself.  And you surprised and distracted your friend by making what seems like an attack from behind.  What's he going to think?  That he's being attacked from behind right?  So don't be surprised if your friend turns on you at that moment.  And don't be surprised if, just as you try to break up the fight, the other guy lands a major blow on your friend. 

Want a better move that will protect your friend without more trouble?  Try getting between your friend and the person he is fighting and facing your friend.  Try to shield your friend without grabbing him.  Don't forget to hunch your own head and back because you will get hit by the other person.  You may also get hit by your friend until he realizes that it's you.  But it's safer for your friend.

Bottom line:  if you go to break up a fight, you have a choice:  you can handicap your friend or risk getting hurt for him.  I don't recommend the first choice.  The second depends on how good a friend he is. 

PS:  This discussion is only for fist fights.  If weapons are involved, DO NOT do this under ANY circumstances it is *way* too risky for all concerned.

The Internet

I don't know if this is a rant or just venting or if this thought actually might help someone.  But anyway, I was watching TV yesterday a.m. and noticed that they were giving a big presentation to a guy who had started some sort of class teaching parents how to protect their children (the girls interviewed were 8) when the kids were on the Internet.  Well, if you are reading this you are on the net. And so are your kids. 

Now I don't want to make this too big a deal, but let's talk for a minute:  First, you (and your kids) can find all sorts of stuff on the web.  Good, bad, indifferent, scary, dangerous, it all depends.  So how do you protect yourself and your kids?  Well, several things:  First, my rules (when my girls were little) were simple:  They used the computer in the kitchen, no personal information could be given out--no names, ages, address, phone numbers, even what state they were in.  Second, no email or IM unless they had actually met the person face to face and knew who they were talking to.  Third, *ANYTIME* they saw *ANYTHING* that made them feel funny they were to stop what they were doing IMMEDIATELY and get me or their mother so we could look at it.

We also took some more passive steps to protect everyone:  all popups were blocked.  And before anyone was allowed to go on the internet or IM anyone they had to turn on the machine and run a virus checker.  (This last has now been upgraded to cover all malware.)

So far, these steps have worked pretty well to protect them.  If anyone has other ideas, please let me know & I'll post them here. 

Karate, Judo and other Martial Arts

Martial Arts, Judo, Karate, Jeet Kun Do, yadayadayada.  All the martial arts.  All designed to make you into the world's untimate weapon.  All designed to equalize the threat.  And none of them permit you to do miracles.  You cannot master a true martial art in a year, or even 2 or 3 years.  Especially not if you only practice for 2-3 hours a week.  No.  To truly master a martial art you must practice thousands of hours over many years.  Don't forget:  a professional fighter will work out and practice 4-6 hours a day 6 days a week.  And s/he will do this for years and years.  And even then a knife, a gun, an attack from the blind side, all can overcome your training. 

So, what's the point?  Simple:  The Martial Arts can improve your life, increase your chances of survival and make you healthier and better.  But it's not a movie and you have to practice.  And Be Alert!

Armor

I realize that the discussin below is is not for everyone, but some lawyers, journalists, stalking victims etc. do face this danger regularly. (If you are a lawyer the danger can be from both a disgruntled client or the other side.)

For those of who tend to agitate people (divorce lawyers for example), or those who prosecute violent people or go violent places, threats are a way of life.  And some (not all) threats are credible and require you to actually take protective action.  Now, I don't want to get in to talking (today) about how to tell the difference between someone venting and someone who is a serious danger.  That's a different discussion.  But, if you do truly believe that you are involved with a seriously dangerous person, what can you do?  There are lots of possible responses and this blog will cover most of them in the future.  But today I want to (briefly) discuss one possible response:  get some sort of body armor.

That's ridiculous you say?  In a non-military environment It's hot and looks silly?  It's uncomfortable?  It's unnecessary?  Well, the answers all are "It depends".  If you have someone who *seriously* is a threat to you, it is not ridiculous if you do it right, and it's not silly looking or hot.  What am I talking about?  Simple:  you can buy an attache case or large purse that has a kevlar lining.  (Yes, they do make these things.)   What's kevlar?  It's the synthetic fiber that, woven into a proper mesh, makes miltary-quality body armor.  So kevlar turns your purse or attache case into an armor "shield" for you to use.

These armored cases look just like a normal briefcase or purse.  They can carry papers etc.  They weigh a bit more than a regular briefcase or purse but not too much more.  And, if you are confronted by someone with a handgun, you hold the briefcase or purse in front of you and it provides good protection for your torso.   Expensive?  Not too bad.  The last time I checked they were selling for $1200-$1500.  That was about a year ago, today they might be a bit more.  But, purchased from a reputable manufacturer, under the right circumstances they are worth every penny.

Dogs

One thing many people can do is to get a dog.  Almost any breed of dog can be a good "watchdog", even breeds that are generally not thought of as good guard or attack dogs, like Cocker Spaniels or poodles.   The key is simple:  will the dog let you know if a stranger is around?  Most all dogs can easily be trained to do this.  But you also have to train the dog to stop "alerting" once you know.  Again, this is easily done. 

A "guard" dog does more than let you know if there are strangers around.  They will actually guard you and your family.  Breeds of dogs that are generally considered good "guard" dogs are:  German Shepherd, Belgian Terveran [sic], Doberman, Rottweiler, Giant Schanuzers and Kuvacsz [sic].   

I don't consider "Attack" dogs like pit bulls good for protection because they can be very volatile, but opinions differ. 

The key factor is, If you are going to get a dog, be sure to train it and work with it regularly.  Personally, I think Schutzhund training is best for a guard dog but it is expensive and time consuming. 

One last thought--If you have children be careful what kind of dog you get and what type of training you give it.  And be sure to teach your children how to behave around the dog too.

Rant ON!!

I just had a conversation with the mother of a friend of my youngest daughter.  The girls were planning to go shopping at the mall tomorrow & the other Mom was going to take them.  We had never met--in fact I didn't know her name.  So I called to coordinate and get to know them.  But Mom seemed reluctant to tell me her name (first or last) and I had to pry her phone # out of her and then, when I asked her where they lived she didn't give me the address until I asked *3* times.  She kept giving me vague answers until I got Very specific:  like "What's your Exact address?" 

So, people, if you are planning an outing with someone else's kid, don't wait to be called--call them & give them the contact information *you* would want.  Right now I have so many misgivings I'm not sure I'm even going to let my girl go.   

And while I'm at it--don't just drop the kids at the mall.  Wait for them.  Me?  I make them physically check in with me every 30 minutes--not call me on the cell, show up & prove to me that all's well.   

Hugs--Yuk!

Something came up on a listerve I belong to over the Holidays and it got me thinking.  How many of you (especially you women) get pulled in to hugs or kisses that are unwanted.  Frequently it's relatives doing this but the hugging bug" seems to be going around a *lot* these days.  So how to avoid it without giving offence?  Try this one:  Take the Right hand of the hugger in your Right hand.  Hold firmly with a stiff elbow.  Then grip the Right forearm of the Hugger Very Firmly with your Left hand.  Then straighten *both* arms while pumping up and down twice.  The Hugger will find it almost impossible to pull you in to a Hug.  And you will be in control of their body.  When you are done, gently push off and step back.  See:  you are free to move on.