Qui Custodes

Hints From Heloise

I wish I could find the durn thing online.  Last week there was a letter from a former police officer that the "Hints from Heloise" column published.  It was a short letter--only 3 paragraphs--but it managed to please me and enrage me all at the same time.  First, why it pleased me:  He suggested that people put their important medical information with their Driver's license so it could be found in case of emergency.  That's a good idea.

But then he went off the rails:  he basically blows off cell phones entirely.  That's not just dumb, that's wrong.  For several years now people have been told to put their emergency contact information on the phone under "I C E" [In Case of Emergency] and anybody who ignores this new protocol is just plain wrong!  Everyone should do that. 

As an aside, I've got to wonder about his comment re:  garage door openers and glove boxes too.  After all, it is the police who insist we have license and registration in every car.  What does this guy think is on the registration for Pete's sake?

Boy Scouts teach anti-bullying

OK. It's official.  Bullying is wrong!  And the Boy Scouts are doing something about it.  The problem is what.  Check out this story about the latest revisions to the Boy Scouts Manual.  AP has characterized the Boy Scouts' advice this way:  "Shaken down for your lunch money? Tell the bully how it hurts. Called a crater face? The 2008 Boy Scout Handbook recommends this comeback: "So what if I have a face full of zits. What's it to you?".  What a bunch of nonsense.

I've just been to a bunch of different websites about how to stop bullying.  Their advice to the kid seems to be 4 fold:  tell an adult, ignore it, run away, or give the bully what they want because it's dangerous to fight back.  And above all else:  Don't Fight Back!  Great!  The kid is already being abused, beaten or stolen from and you tell them it's dangerous to fight back?  He!! it's dangerous not to fight back too.

The advice to parents/schools is equally inane:  gather the facts, separate the children, tell the bully you won't tolerate her behavior and ask the bully how they would feel if this were done to them.  Like any of that is really going to help.

OK loyal readers: What suggestions do you have to stop bullying?  Let's talk about this.

Wear your Seatbelts

Here in the DC suburbs there have been a rash of car accidents with young drivers--teens mainly. According to the Washington Post story  there have been 13 young people killed in the past few weeks.  Our governments are thinking about how to fix the problem and may be considering tightening the teenage driving laws.  But one thing struck me:  wear your durn seatbelts.  Apparently a lot of the kids killed in these collisions were not wearing their seat belts.   

Fer Pete's Sake:  wear the things--they can save your life!!

Cell phones as tracking devices

For those parents who want to know what their children are up too, the cell phone companies will let you do it for a fee: Sprint Nextel and Verizon has "ehanced 911" which you can subscribe to.  Although slightly different, both provide tracking services so you know where your child is.

Kids & backpacks

About once a year I go off on a rant about kids and backpacks.  It goes like this:  parents we tell the kids that if they lose their books or backpacks they are in DEEP doo-doo.  The kids really hear us because we are really serious.  Or are we?  How about if your kid is being chased by some pervert? Or a bully?  Do you really want to have a conversation where the kid says "Daddy, I couldn't run any faster because I didn't want to lose my backpack and get in trouble"?  Of COURSE NOT!!!!  So give the kids a nuanced message. They'll understand it.

Get a harness not a leash

By now many of you have read or seen CNN or the various news media and the talk about the woman who drove a car into a crowd at a Washington, D.C. street festival.  A lot of people got hurt, many of them little kids.  Well, have you ever seen a kid with a leash on her wrist and the other end of the leash is attached to Mom or Dad?  I see it all the time.  And I always wonder:  Are they trying   to hurt their kid?  Just think about it for a minute.  Part of the reason for the leash is so the child won't get away.  But another reason is so the adult can pull the kid to safety or away from something dangerous.  Right.  So you pull hard on the arm and dislocate the shoulder or elbow.  That makes good sense.

Here's a better way.  Don't use a leash that attaches to the child's wrist.  Use a leash that attaches to a full-body harness.  They are cheap and safe.  One of my children ran into the street while wearing a harness attached to my wrist.  Car comes by at speed so I spun and pulled hard.  She went flying into the air, the car goes by missing her and she's not hurt.  Actually she thought it was a carnival ride and wanted to do it again.  After I could catch my breath, we did too--but not near the street.

I love digital cameras on phones

Kids love cell phones and almost all phones these days come with little cameras attached.  Do you have a teenager with a cell phone?  Want to know what they are doing?  Do you have trust issues?  Call the kid and tell her to take 4 fotos of what's around her right then and email the fotos to you.  That's how you can tell what's going on.  Just telling the kids you might do that brings them up short. 

And don't buy into that old chestnut "you don't trust me."  The answer is simple "trust but verify". 

fingerprint your kids

When my girls were little 1 thing we did was fingerprint them when they were about 5.  Most of the police departments will do this for you.  You just get the prints and put them in the vault.  If you need them you have them and if you don't they make great souvenirs etc.  when they are older.

footprint your babies

I was reading about some of the missing and later recovered children recently and 1 thing I noticed.  Sometimes it can be hard to prove the child is yours.  Especially if it has been several years.  Well, keep in mind that virtually every child has her/his footprints taken before they leave the hospital. If you have this problem, don't bother with fingerprints, check the footprints.

bullying

I just posted about a kid in Wisconsin who killed his school principal.  His problem was that he was complaining about being bullied and nobody was listening to him.  I keep hearing about school killings and there always seems to be a link to bullying.  I wonder if this is selective on my part or if there is some real connection.  If there is a real connection, can we do something about this? 

Now this post doesn't really deal with self-protection except in the most general way.  But dealing with bullies is a real problem and I'll talk about how to do it periodically. 

Seems to me that the "system" should be able to prevent it but it isn't working.  I don't know why.  So I'm wondering if there isn't a better way.  If I recall correctly, Columbine was thought to be brought on--at least in part--by bullying.  Seems to me that I started to hear about anti-bully campaigns right after that.

Anybody know?  Any ideas for systemic fixes?