Qui Custodes

Gun safety

This seems to me to be redundant but apparently it is not.  If you have children and own a firearm you have certain obligations:  you must protect the kids from the weapon and the weapon from the kids.  By this I mean:  if you have a child you have a moral obligation to make sure the kid knows not to touch the weapon.  More, the kid must be protected from the temptation to touch the weapon.  So get a gun safe or safety lock or *something*.  Here in DC we just had an 8 year old take his dad's firearm to day care & he accidently shot a 7 year old girl while showing off.  This is so frustrating to me and so stupid!  Don't do these things. [I am not going on a rant about the Dad, his alleged criminal record etc. because so many others are doing that already.  I'm just trying to focus on basic safety issues.]

Similarly, whether you own firearms or not, these days you simply must teach your children basic gun safety:  Don't Touch!  If you see someone with a gun, get away!  Learn how to pick up a gun safely if you must.  So far as I'm concerned *everyone* (adults too) should learn how to handle a weapon safely, even if they don't own any and don't plan to own any.  Because you never know when you might need the knowledge. 

Some people can quarrel with the National Rifle Association over many things. But one thing I think they do well is the Eddie Eagle gun safety program. It teaches kids how to handle firearms safely and responsibly.  I like it a lot.  Other programs will do the same thing so, if you don't like Eddie Eagle find one you do like.  But don't let your kids grow un ignorant of basic safety.

The Internet

I don't know if this is a rant or just venting or if this thought actually might help someone.  But anyway, I was watching TV yesterday a.m. and noticed that they were giving a big presentation to a guy who had started some sort of class teaching parents how to protect their children (the girls interviewed were 8) when the kids were on the Internet.  Well, if you are reading this you are on the net. And so are your kids. 

Now I don't want to make this too big a deal, but let's talk for a minute:  First, you (and your kids) can find all sorts of stuff on the web.  Good, bad, indifferent, scary, dangerous, it all depends.  So how do you protect yourself and your kids?  Well, several things:  First, my rules (when my girls were little) were simple:  They used the computer in the kitchen, no personal information could be given out--no names, ages, address, phone numbers, even what state they were in.  Second, no email or IM unless they had actually met the person face to face and knew who they were talking to.  Third, *ANYTIME* they saw *ANYTHING* that made them feel funny they were to stop what they were doing IMMEDIATELY and get me or their mother so we could look at it.

We also took some more passive steps to protect everyone:  all popups were blocked.  And before anyone was allowed to go on the internet or IM anyone they had to turn on the machine and run a virus checker.  (This last has now been upgraded to cover all malware.)

So far, these steps have worked pretty well to protect them.  If anyone has other ideas, please let me know & I'll post them here. 

Karate, Judo and other Martial Arts

Martial Arts, Judo, Karate, Jeet Kun Do, yadayadayada.  All the martial arts.  All designed to make you into the world's untimate weapon.  All designed to equalize the threat.  And none of them permit you to do miracles.  You cannot master a true martial art in a year, or even 2 or 3 years.  Especially not if you only practice for 2-3 hours a week.  No.  To truly master a martial art you must practice thousands of hours over many years.  Don't forget:  a professional fighter will work out and practice 4-6 hours a day 6 days a week.  And s/he will do this for years and years.  And even then a knife, a gun, an attack from the blind side, all can overcome your training. 

So, what's the point?  Simple:  The Martial Arts can improve your life, increase your chances of survival and make you healthier and better.  But it's not a movie and you have to practice.  And Be Alert!

Rant ON!!

I just had a conversation with the mother of a friend of my youngest daughter.  The girls were planning to go shopping at the mall tomorrow & the other Mom was going to take them.  We had never met--in fact I didn't know her name.  So I called to coordinate and get to know them.  But Mom seemed reluctant to tell me her name (first or last) and I had to pry her phone # out of her and then, when I asked her where they lived she didn't give me the address until I asked *3* times.  She kept giving me vague answers until I got Very specific:  like "What's your Exact address?" 

So, people, if you are planning an outing with someone else's kid, don't wait to be called--call them & give them the contact information *you* would want.  Right now I have so many misgivings I'm not sure I'm even going to let my girl go.   

And while I'm at it--don't just drop the kids at the mall.  Wait for them.  Me?  I make them physically check in with me every 30 minutes--not call me on the cell, show up & prove to me that all's well.   

Hugs--Yuk!

Something came up on a listerve I belong to over the Holidays and it got me thinking.  How many of you (especially you women) get pulled in to hugs or kisses that are unwanted.  Frequently it's relatives doing this but the hugging bug" seems to be going around a *lot* these days.  So how to avoid it without giving offence?  Try this one:  Take the Right hand of the hugger in your Right hand.  Hold firmly with a stiff elbow.  Then grip the Right forearm of the Hugger Very Firmly with your Left hand.  Then straighten *both* arms while pumping up and down twice.  The Hugger will find it almost impossible to pull you in to a Hug.  And you will be in control of their body.  When you are done, gently push off and step back.  See:  you are free to move on.

Walking (con't) and Shoes

I am always amazed when I see people walking on the street wearing flip-flops, high heels, sandals and backless shoes of all kinds.  It's absurd.  When wearing these shoes you cannot walk normally with good balance--you have to worry about your shoes falling off.  You cannot run away without losing your shoes.  You always have to worry about getting your toes stepped on.  You cannot fight.  You are pinned down in the name of fashion and vulnerable.  Pfui!

Better is to wear comfortable shoes that fit properly on the street and then change when you get to your destination.  That's what briefcases, purses, and shopping bags are for. 

Practice the Memory Charms

As a follow up to the last post, my girls reminded me that every day as I took them to school we would practice their memory tricks so they would always know their address and my phone numbers.  Amazingly enough, 10-15 years later they *still* remember the numbers!

Living proof that the tricks work!

Memory charms

My girls and I were having lunch with some friends of mine and we got to talking about this trick:  If you have a little child, teach them a memory rhyme or cheer to help them remember their phone number.  It's absolutely amazing how much this can help even the youngest child recall things. 

Code Talking

This is not something everyone needs or wants. But under the right circumstances (like being stalked) it can be a useful tip.

If you are concerned about being held hostage or kidnaped or otherwise detained against your will, you can establish a code phrase or phrases. The way this works is for you and your contact (wife/so/kid/partner etc.) to select a key phrase to use on the phone in case something really bad happens (kidnaping, break-in, etc.). The phrase should *sound* innocuous, like, "I'm fine. Be well ." It could be the use of a pet "name" which really isn’t one.

Now if you are *really* worried, a 'code phrase' that is NOT used may be a clue. In other words, if someone is holding you and telling you to read from a script, and you can't say "I'm fine, take care of yourself" then they won't know that you're in trouble. If, on the other hand, your code is, you always end the conversation with "Take care of yourself" and you don't use it, THEN the other party knows you're in trouble.

The phrases themselves are not important. It’s what they mean that counts.

Confrontation

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and he was worried: Seems that he was at a kids soccer game & another parent got upset about something. Rather than talking about it the other parent called my friend out. My friend wanted to avoid confrontation but also wanted to know what to do the next time he saw the other parent. My suggestions were simple:

1.  Walk away. If walking away would inflame the situation even more, try to talk.

2.  When talking to the other parent

    *    Keep your arms crossed across your chest/stomach (this will tend to prevent a sucker punch to the stomach without seeming aggressive);

    *    If you do move your hands/arms, raise them to the side of your face, rub an ear, or your cheek, or stroke you lips (this will prevent a sucker punch to the head);

    *    Point 1 foot at the other parent and step back ½ step while turning the other foot 90 degrees away (this prevents a sucker knee to the groin);

    *    Don’t let the other person within 3 feet of you;

    *    Don't let them yell at you--most people have to "warm up" before attacking;

    *    Don't laugh at them even when they are being silly; and

    *    Don't lose *your* temper.

3.    If they threaten you, remind her/him that you *will* call the police if they do anything. Now walk away again. This time, back away or walk away at an angle so you do not lose sight of her/him.

4.    Final tip:  It is my experience that the sex of the other person is irrelevant. It is impossible to predict what someone will do based on their sex. So don’t let your guard down -- a man is as likely to attack a man/woman as a woman is to attack a woman/man.